Wednesday, 11 June 2008

Shoes, Lesbians & Affairs

The automized ice cream cones / Jerry Hall's dress (not for ice cream eaters)

A sad day for me. I am forced out of sheer necessity to part ways with a perfectly good (nearly new Nine West) pair of shoes (I die a thousand deaths each time I have to do that and I avoid it at all costs) but they really were genuinely mutilating my toes. They looked great but were torture. I did manage to suffer through the ordeal three times (my outfit required it) but I can take it no more. So, it's love you and leave you dear shoes. Charity shop here we come.

I love Summer but can't bear the heat. If like me you love the summer but the masses of fat in your body cause it to overheat to the point where you feel like you may burst out of that suit you call outer skin, then you will definitely sympathize with me and are already nodding your head in that knowing way. It is unbearable. For the past five summers (yes five dammit), I have told myself over and over again that I will not let this happen to me next summer. I will shed those pounds so that I may suffer from anorexic hypothermia. So that I may shudder and be one of those annoying people who always carry a 'cardie' with them in case they begin to shiver if a cloud should appear. I hate them and yet long to be one of them. But then the summer passes, winter sets in and you find me wrapped around my warm muffins all vows forgotten. How sad is that? Very if you must know.

The day hasn't been in total ruin though. I did manage a chuckle or two as I baked for an hour outside my son's school reading yesterday's Guardian (that's how little time I have). Steven Morris has listed a fantastic gadget du jour on page 5. The motorized ice cream cone. Yes. I was so excited by the idea that I have checked out the site ( Those babies will soon be mine I promise you. However, you may want to avoid them if you've decided to go for Jerry Hall's wedding dress on auction at Sothebys'. The dress requires a 26-inch waist and is up for grabs for a guided price of £500. A bargain for skinny ice cream deprived individuals.

Did you know that there is actually an island called Lesbos and people who come from there are Lesbians? Now, the people of the Island supposedly want to stop gay women from calling themselves Lesbians because it reflects badly on local women of the Island. The hearing initiated by plaintiffs on the Aegean Island of Lesbos argues that it is not that the Islanders object to gay women per se but they don't want to be labelled with a term that is associated with someone's sexual orientation. Why do I have a feeling that we have men to blame for this dispute as well?

On the Greenwich home front, my girlfriends and I could not stop talking about this new book "When Good People Have Affairs" by Mira Kirshenbaum. None of us have read it yet but we all plan to. If only to see what all the fuss is about. We did have a few laughs about the matter. Most of us except for one have been married for a minimum of seven years and the only objections we had to having one was a) we couldn't be bothered, b)it would be too stressful to do all the lying and c) if we were to go for it, it had to be with a woman just for it to be worth it (we'd have the excuse of having wanted a new experience). Our single friend thought we were all pathetic. A great way to end the day!

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